Satyam’s 7 steps to save employees

I am at shock. Specially because Satyam employees with average salary of 70K per month are sure feeling helpless than I am at this time. Yet at the end of the day I think what can Satyam’s upcoming plan be? to increase the morale of it’s present employees and save them. Here are a few picks

1. Satyam and PwC may form a email marketing group called Satyam Pwc Advertisement and Marketing (SPAM) to pursue lenders through advanced email tactics in lending money.
2. Raju might provide free ebook version on budhdhism and spirituality to every employee through SAAS (Satyam Aesthetics and Advanced Spiritualism) model (who said? Dalai Lama??)
3. Satyam might ask employees to jointly produce films under bollywood banner to better the chances through box office, some films can be “Raju Bawra”, “amdani athanni, kharcha rupaya”, “EMI2 - kab du? kaise du?”, “satyam, shivam, scandalam”, “MAYTAS aapke hain kaun?” “Raaz 3 - Scandal continues..” come on…give me some titles..
4. Satyam might start body shopping employees with or can even create a career site for satyam employees like “topsatyamemployees.com” or “satyamcvs.com” or “satyamcareers.com”
5. Satyam might form a new ally with PwC and form SCAM (Satyam Creative Accounts Management) and might go for auditing other big giants of India, their average charge for audit will be 4.3 crores
6. PwC might create an awareness program to save its client Satyam (on demand by Raju). The campaign might be called “PWC - Please Wear Clothes”, which additionally means “just clothes” are allowed, employees should sale off their new SX4, Imate, Apple Mac and Handycams..
7. SATYAM might plea the government for saving them and defining the truth behind SATYAM as an acronym of “Some Accounts Tactically Yucked for Advanced Management”